The Smart Divorce® Weblog

Move forward with focus, hope, and confidence.


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Change Your Brain, Transform Relationships

What if you could change the negative thoughts and behaviors that have been detrimental to healthy relationships in the past? Have you ever had feelings of being blamed, unappreciated, rejected or even un-loved in a past or current relationship? Imagine what would happen if you were able to “rewire” your brain and eliminate your negative feelings and replace them with positive feelings that make you feel  accepted, appreciated valued, loved and successful.

David Folk

David Folk

On this episode of The Smart Divorce, recorded at The Family Support Expo in Toronto, co-founder of NEXT Integrative Mind Sciences, David Folk joins us to discuss the potential to changing our brain and transform relationships. (Neuroplasticity)

David’s NEXT program guides students through a series of exercises that teach you to utilize your brain’s own natural plasticity by creating new and lasting patterns of behavior.  Armed with new abilities for emotional behavioral regulation, graduates of the couples and families program consistently report radical improvements to their relationships compared to when they began the program.

Learn how developments in neuroscience can benefit your life in this exciting program.  For more information on David Folk and the NEXT program, visit: www.The NextProgram.com.

To listen click here


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My Money Mindset – Finances During Divorce

Now posted on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio

One of the biggest fears post-divorce are finances.  Trusting yourself to make financial choices is a big issue, especially when it comes to your divorce settlement.  Our guest, Dr. Deborah Nixon, helps us to understand what we need to do.  Dr. Nixon is an entrepreneur, professor, executive, consultant, and community volunteer; she has identified a common need in today’s cautious working environment for trusting professional relationships. Economic instability has undercut our readiness to trust one another – and this is especially hard in divorce.  We’re gong to relate this all to your post-divorce life.

Dr. Nixon helps us understand the importance of building and maintaining trust in ourselves when making financial decisions – especially when it’s post-divorce, and the worry is “what about my future?”   She has developed the MyMoneyMindset and Trust Intelligence Program and shares her work, to help us with financial decision-making. We discuss the intangibles of trust, reputation and integrity to make them tangible and practical.

To understand how these goals are met in reasonable manner we explore:

  • Defining Moments as a pivot point for deeper understanding of financial decision-making
  • How assessments, coaching and consulting have helped clients learn to take charge of their money while helping professionals learn what their clients need from them.
  • Helping to develop Financial Wellness
  • The 10 Minute Survey
  • The importance of feeling strong so that you can manage your money

My Money Mindset will help you make better and more informed decisions about your money. Tackle those hard issues. A raise, the family budget, a financial plan, your relationship with your financial professional. Don’t you owe it to yourself! Isn’t your peace of mind worth it? This interview will surely help you understand what trust means, trust breaches and trust repair. Fascinating stuff.

To find out more, contact Dr. Nixon at Deborah@mymoneymindset.com, or call 416-986-7049

Don’t forget, Like us on our Facebook pagesThe Smart Divorce and Divorce Source Radio.  Join the community!

To listen tune in here


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Keeping the Family Foundation Grounded

Family is The Foundation of Our Society

I interviewed Dave Quist of the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio.  Tune in to hear this great perspective and ideas on keeping the family together.

The health of our children, communities and nation depends on strong families. The institute of marriage and family Canada (IMFC) states that the aim of society and government policy should be to protect and support this foundation.  How is this accomplished?

David QuistOur guest, Dave Quist, Executive Director of theInstitute of Marriage and Family Canada  (http://www.imfcanada.org/) outlines the many challenges facing families today, and provides ideas for overcoming the obstacles for confronting families in our fast paced society. Mr. Quist has been an active participant in an annual, international meeting of think tanks who collaborate to advance the position that marriage and strong families act as a protector against poverty.  This is a energetic conversation brimming with ideas for developing stronger, healthier family relationships.

Topics include:

  • Staying connected with the “family dinner”
  • Pre-marriage counseling
  • The challenges of family financing
  • Understanding the “me” generation
  • How to make relationships stronger with your children and within your marriage
  • Making marriages successful rather than divorce easier
  • What co-parents need to understand so that children become positive contributors to society
  • The cultural shift of marriage
  • And, so much more……

The Institute of Marriage and Family Canada (IMFC) conducts, compiles and presents the latest and most accurate research to ensure that marriage and family-friendly policy are foremost in the minds of Canada’s decision makers.

To hear the interview click on the link:

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/family-the-foundation-our-society/


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Resolve Custody Conflicts in Divorce

New on The Smart Divorce – Resolve Custody Conflicts in Divorce

You can protect your kids through Divorce Without Dishonor, and our guest, Mike Mastracci tells us how to resolve custody conflicts in divorce.  Author and lawyer, Mike Mastracci is a nationally recognized family law attorney and mediator with over 20 years of professional experience. He is the author of STOP Fighting Over the Kids, Resolving Day-to-Day Conflict in Divorce Situations.  (To receive a FREE copy of Mike’s book, send your request to: DivorceSourceRadio@gmail.com and the E-book will be emailed to you.)

Stop fighting over the kidsIn addition to his legal, collaborative and mediation skills, Mastracci brings much more to the table: with an insightful, kind and helpful approach. He shares his personal child custody issues and challenges to better serve you in solving your legal, practical, parental, and situational problems.

Mr. Mastracci through his common sense approach provides insight, strategies and an invaluable understanding of Court, costly custody battles. Mastracci encourages divorcing couples to educate themselves in the Collaborative Divorce method whereby they can demonstrate by their words and actions that they love their children more than they may dislike their ex. Mike will frankly tell you that contested divorce and child custody litigation is more often than not a waste of time, money and emotional wear and tear.
Mastracci is committed to preserving parent-child relationships.

To hear this interview, click on the link http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/resolve-custody-conflicts-divorce/


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The Finances of the Grey Divorce

I’m Divorced, Now How Am I Going to Retire?

The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source RadioFor the new generation of empty-nesters, divorce is becoming more common.  Moreover, among people ages 50 and older, the divorce rate has doubled over the past 20 years.  It used to be that as people got aged, the chances of divorce declined – but this is no longer the case.  Given that the aging population is living longer and healthier, retiring post divorce is an issue for the grey divorce segment.

Eva Sachs on Divorce Source Radio

On this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, our guest is Eva Sachs, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and founder of Women in Divorce Financial http://www.WomenInDivorce.ca discusses the many concerns, considerations and consequences of financial planning post divorce for the older divorcee.

What do you need to think about, is a question many ponder. We answer that question and explore more:

  • Creative solutions for a financially prudent separation agreement
  • Adjusting to lifestyle differences post divorce
  • Managing debt with less
  • Medical/health benefits
  • Retirement plans for the divorced
  • The home as a burden or asset

Find out how to protect yourself and develop a list of questions, as you work through your finances for a financially secure retirement.

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/im-divorced-now-how-am-i-going-to-retire/


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A Guide To Great Relationships

Tune in to The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio to hear Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck discuss a “How to Guide” to great relationships.

Have you ever stopped to think why the divorce rate rises with each subsequent marriage, or why seemingly great relationships don’t work?

In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, Deborah and Steve Peck discuss relationships – what’s great and what isn’t.  All too often people fall into the same relationship patterns – they get involved with the same “type” that didn’t work for them previously like physical appearance or character traits.

Today’s conversation includes:

  • 5 Significant messages to be mindful of
  • Avoid repeating the bad relationship patterns
  • A candid story of Steve Peck’s relationship mistakes
  • Deborah shares how she overcame her relationship immaturity

An interesting and informative show filled with insight and candor.   Deborah speaks to the article she wrote Midlife Divorce: Blame it on Your Parents? http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/midlife-divorce-blame-it-on-your-parents/a/33856

To hear this informative interview click on the link

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/great-relationships-a-how-to-guide-to-get-there-again/


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Can Divorce Cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Did you know that PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, affects more than just service members in the military?  PTSD results from exposure to a traumatic event, such as divorce – which could impact on how children’s lives unfold.

Dr. Robert J. Cipriano Jr. (www.simcipgroup.com), a preeminent Licensed Psychologist in Florida who specializes in police psychology and works for one of the largest police departments in the Southeastern part of the United States, shares his knowledge, experience and expertise on this manageable and treatable disorder.

Dr. Cipriano draws on his years of field experience to explain how trauma and violence can impact an individual’s psychological wellbeing; specifically recognizing signs and symptoms of the disorder, how it manifests, and how to work and interact with those who may suffer from it.

Topics include:

  • How to recognize the symptoms of PTSD
  • How stigma affects those that suffer from PTSD
  • Growing up in a household with someone who has PTSD
  • Helping children cope when a parent has PTSD
  • The myths and magical thoughts that others may have surrounding PTSD, especially stigma
  • Enhancing of Communication Skills & Interpersonal Relations

Join Deborah and Steve on the journey to understand this disorder.  Could you or a loved one have experienced PTSD as a result of a high conflict divorce or a traumatic event in your past?  Listen and learn, as Dr. Cipriano so wisely comments – “Education is empowerment, and empowerment can overcome fear, hopelessness and helplessness”.

Dr. Cipriano can be reached at info@SIMCIPGROUP.COM

To listen click on the link:

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/can-divorce-cause-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/


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Ten Signs Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You

In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, we discuss The Ten Signs that Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You.

Many times, especially in long-term relationships, spouses drift apart.  They may not be having sex much, if at all, and their intimate conversations and sharing of day-to-day life experiences may cease to exist.

You would think that these signs, alone, would be enough to cause partners to wonder if their relationship was in trouble.  It seems, however, that this pattern of distancing themselves was a slow, eroding process, and for some, they feel it was the normal progression of a long-term relationship.

If you and your partner have lost the connection that you once shared, it’s possible that your partner has considered, or could even be planning, a divorce, without your having any knowledge of it.  Deborah reveals the signs that your spouse might be seeking a divorce, as originally mentioned inThe Globe and Mail article, by Tralee Pearce

Click on the link to listen:

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/ten-signs-your-spouse-may-be-planning-to-divorce-you/


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Holidays Alone and New Traditions

Divorce Source Radio’s Steve Peck has a discussion on spending the holidays alone, with DSR The Smart Divorce host, author and divorce consultant, Deborah Moskovitch.

We share our different backgrounds as we discuss Deborah’s experience of being alone during Hanukkah, and Steve’s during Christmas.  We also touch on the difficulty of being newly divorced at other major life events and celebrations.

As the program progresses, we become a bit more philosophical, as we discuss why and how couples fall out of love in the first place.  And we ask the question, “Are those in high conflict divorces actually more in love with their spouses, and soon-to-be exes, than those who divorce with a mutual understanding that they have both simply fallen out of love?”  What do you think?  Write us your thoughts at DivorceSourceRadio@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you.

To listen, tune in to:

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/spending-holidays-alone-and-beginning-new-traditions/


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Moving Out and Moving On: Overcoming Domestic Violence

Our guest, Sharon Zarozny of Brilliant Exits  (http://www.brilliantexits.com/) shares her personal story of overcoming the trauma she experienced as a victim of Domestic Violence and abuse.  Domestic Violence can happen to anyone, and Sharon was hard pressed to believe that this was happening to her.  Fact was, as an educated woman who’d traded in a successful career to be a stay at home mom, there was no wayshe and her daughters were the “victims” of that ugly phrase “domestic violence.” Sharon’s family had the trappings of a privileged life thanks to her husband’s thriving surgical practice. He was a brilliant Ivy League grad. It just didn’t add up.

If you can identify, get a copy of Susan Weitzman’s book Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages or check out nottopeoplelikeus.com. Knowing you are not alone is so crucial to getting out. In your world that swirls with “unreals” and craziness, you’ll find this book/site a gift of validation. You’ll know you are not crazy.

Also visit The Weitzman Center and download the free Care Kit provided. It too will help you understand and safely plan for when you are ready to get out. And plan you must. When you leave a high earning, narcissistic professional you can be in for quite a rough ride through the legal system. Often the upscale abuser has the means, power and leverage to hire a legal dream team and use the courts to further the abuse.

To learn more about Sharon’s story, read her article that appeared in The Huffington Post:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sharon-zarozny/are-you-brave-enough-to-l_b_837390.html

To hear this important interview click on the link below

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/overcoming-domestic-violence-moving-out-and-moving-on/