The Smart Divorce® Weblog

Move forward with focus, hope, and confidence.

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Can Divorce Cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Did you know that PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, affects more than just service members in the military?  PTSD results from exposure to a traumatic event, such as divorce – which could impact on how children’s lives unfold.

Dr. Robert J. Cipriano Jr. (, a preeminent Licensed Psychologist in Florida who specializes in police psychology and works for one of the largest police departments in the Southeastern part of the United States, shares his knowledge, experience and expertise on this manageable and treatable disorder.

Dr. Cipriano draws on his years of field experience to explain how trauma and violence can impact an individual’s psychological wellbeing; specifically recognizing signs and symptoms of the disorder, how it manifests, and how to work and interact with those who may suffer from it.

Topics include:

  • How to recognize the symptoms of PTSD
  • How stigma affects those that suffer from PTSD
  • Growing up in a household with someone who has PTSD
  • Helping children cope when a parent has PTSD
  • The myths and magical thoughts that others may have surrounding PTSD, especially stigma
  • Enhancing of Communication Skills & Interpersonal Relations

Join Deborah and Steve on the journey to understand this disorder.  Could you or a loved one have experienced PTSD as a result of a high conflict divorce or a traumatic event in your past?  Listen and learn, as Dr. Cipriano so wisely comments – “Education is empowerment, and empowerment can overcome fear, hopelessness and helplessness”.

Dr. Cipriano can be reached at info@SIMCIPGROUP.COM

To listen click on the link:

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I’m on Family Matters TV

If you live in Ontario, tune in tonight- January 24, to hear my interview on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. It’s on CHCHTV @10:30, and repeated on Saturday  at 6:30.

This is a one-on-one conversation with Debrah Moskovitch, author of THE SMART DIVORCE. Learn how to minimize conflict and enter into child-focused decision-making. Learn how to reinvent yourself from an ?ex-partner? to a ?co-parent?. And best of all, learn how to surround yourself with the people you need to maximize your opportunities for success in dealing with an ex-partner.

If you miss the show, or it isn’t broadcast in your area,this episode is now available on DVD. Please go to: to order copies.

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The Financial Realities of Divorce

The Finances of Divorce

A client came into my office the other day in tears. She was just about to sign papers to purchase her new home, but was now feeling unsure of her decision. My client was in the middle of negotiating her financial agreement and wanted to prepare herself for the fresh start she desired once her divorce became final.

After a few more tears and 30 minutes of talking, she began to understand how the “emotional divorce” could impact “the legal divorce.” What this means is that there are two sides of divorce to wade through — the emotional and the legal. Divorce is upper-case Emotional, and if not managed properly, it can wreak havoc on the legal process and financial outcomes. While it would be really nice if the two elements could be handled one after the other — you could spend a few years dealing with the emotional issues, and then, heart and head clear, go through the legal process — but the truth is that emotions and legal processes cannot be clinically separated, and usually have to be managed at the same time.

To read the rest of my article which appeared on The Huffington Post, click on the link

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Ten Signs Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You

In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, we discuss The Ten Signs that Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You.

Many times, especially in long-term relationships, spouses drift apart.  They may not be having sex much, if at all, and their intimate conversations and sharing of day-to-day life experiences may cease to exist.

You would think that these signs, alone, would be enough to cause partners to wonder if their relationship was in trouble.  It seems, however, that this pattern of distancing themselves was a slow, eroding process, and for some, they feel it was the normal progression of a long-term relationship.

If you and your partner have lost the connection that you once shared, it’s possible that your partner has considered, or could even be planning, a divorce, without your having any knowledge of it.  Deborah reveals the signs that your spouse might be seeking a divorce, as originally mentioned inThe Globe and Mail article, by Tralee Pearce

Click on the link to listen:

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How to Help Your Friend During Divorce

I was recently interviewed by Jen Kirsch at Canadian Living Magazine about being a friend – to a friend during divorce.  This is what we discussed:

How to help friends going through a divorce or breakup

By Jen Kirsch

You don’t always have to know the right thing to say — just being a good friend who’s there is often enough.
Nothing is as heartbreaking as watching someone you really care about experience divorce or the breakup of a long-term relationship. These are life-altering events, and they almost always result in the person going through a messy grieving process in order to pick up the pieces and move on. Of course you want to be a good, reliable friend, but what exactly does that entail?We asked Deborah Moskovitch, a divorce consultant and educator and author of the book The Smart Divorce(Chicago Review Press, 2007), to share her tips on helping a friend weather the divorce storm.1. If you didn’t like her ex, keep it to yourself 
People can make off-the-cuff remarks that can be really hurtful. For instance: “I never liked him in the first place,” or “You’re better off without that loser,” says Moskovitch. “These comments can trigger your friend’s own insecurities, and make her feel ashamed for being with her ex.”If you bad-mouth her ex, your friend may internalize your comments and think they reflect on her. You could be doing more harm than good, so avoid using put-downs or confessing how you really feel about her ex. “With time, the divorced couple may become amicable and you’ll have said things that can’t be unsaid,” Moskovitch reminds us.
To view the full article and see all 5 tips, click on the link