The Smart Divorce® Weblog

Move forward with focus, hope, and confidence.


Managing through a high conflict divorce

Lawyer, Bill Eddy has written a series of articles on divorce which I feel are a must read — for anyone wanting to understand the effects of high conflict on the family.  The link to access these articles is:

What makes these articles unique is Mr. Eddy’s combined expertise as lawyer and social worker.  I interviewed Mr. Eddy for The Smart Divorce. What I found most fascinating is while he understands that  the emotional divorce and the legal divorce often get woven together; his strategies for dealing with personality disorder through this difficult time are exemplary.

If there is something more you would like me to explore in greater detail, please comment below.

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Here comes the judge………what he has to say

For an insightful perspective of what goes on in the family courtroom, the video attached is a must see for anyone in the throes of divorce.  Why is it so important to stay out of court – because you want to avoid the tug of war between parents and the disastrous effects it can have on children

Watch this captivating interview with Susan Ormiston who talks to family court judge, Justice Harvey Brownstone, who has spent 14 years refereeing ugly custody disputes, writing a book detailing his experiences on the bench.

If this isn’t enough to keep you out of court, then read this powerful research by Dr. Robert E. Emery.   Dr. Emery conducted a 12 year study on high conflict families — who had originally appeared in court because they had filed for a contested custody hearing.  He compared two groups – those that litigated the outcome vs mediation.
The outcome:
5 hours of mediation caused nonresidential parents to see their children much more often 12 years later
Compare these rates to the dramatic drop off in contact after the typical divorce in America
For example, 28% of nonresident parents who mediated saw their children weekly 12 years later compared to 9% who litigated and 11% in the national averages

For more information and a full review of the study, click on the link

Our goal as parents is to put our children’s best interest first.  It isn’t always easy, but it’s a goal we need to achieve!