The Smart Divorce® Weblog

Move forward with focus, hope, and confidence.


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How You Can Divorce With Focus, Hope and Confidence

The Smart Divorce®  ToolKit

Get Through Your Divorce While Saving Time, Money – and Your Sanity!

Get through your divorce as you save time, money – and your sanity! One low price gives you the complete Smart Divorce ToolKit – Smart Audios and Smart Guides – a cost-effective way to reduce stress as you  manage the divorce process.
Whatever your frame of mind or situation at this stage of your divorce, The Smart Divorce ToolKit is a one-of-a-kind tool that will help you gain clarity, perspective and a smarter next step. This valuable resource provides education, tools and strategies to help you be smart about your divorce while moving on to a happier, healthier future.

Information is Knowledge and Knowledge is Power

Endorsed by judges, lawyers and mental health professionals, The Smart Divorce ToolKit provides guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts, well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process. This one smart package makes it uncomplicated and effortless to understand.

The Smart Divorce Audios

As an introduction to The Smart Divorce approach in an easy to absorb format, The Smart Divorce Audios provide the reassuring, insightful and non-judgmental information you need when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed.  Almost 3 hours of information!
Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
Audio 2 – The Legal Divorce
Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce

The Smart Divorce Smart Guides

The Smart Guides offer you easy-to-use tip sheets put together in one smart book that guides you through divorce specifics, covering a myriad of helpful topics. Empower yourself with information and knowledge. The Smart Guides offer quick summaries, checklists and memory ticklers to help keep you on track.

Smart Guides:

  • Planning for a Smart Divorce
  • Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
  • How to Increase Your Ability to Cope When Divorcing
  • The Power of Setting Realistic Expectations
  • Understanding Your Divorce Options
  • Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
  • Understanding Marital Property Laws
  • Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
  • Financial Information Checklist
  • Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
  • Smart Co-Parenting
  • Living Separate and Apart
  • Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds

 

Buy just the topics you need, or get the whole ToolKit.  Prices start at the low price of $9.49!

Yes! I want to order The Smart Divorce®ToolKit. Available in hard copy or downloadable format at http://tinyurl.com/thesmartdivorceaudios or you may purchase only The Smart Divorce Smart Guides paperback or downloadable version at http://tinyurl.com/thesmartdivorcesmartguides  If you would like to learn more about this unique and innovative program, and how it may help you, please contact Deborah Moskovitch at The Smart Divorce by emailing info@thesmartdivorce.com, or call 905.695.0270.

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Commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month 2013

 Commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month 2013 with free gifts & events for families dealing with divorce issues!

If you’re a parent coping with divorce-related issues, professionals around the world are here to provide free gifts and services to you all through January. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month, we’ve enrolled child-centered divorce mediators, divorce coaches, therapists, financial planners and other professionals on four continents to join this educational campaign. Their goal is to share insights, advice, tips and tools to help you create the most positive outcome for your family as you transition through divorce and beyond.

Here’s just a sampling of the many gifts awaiting you when you visit our special website: www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook.

At the website just enter your email address to download free ebooks, coaching services, online parenting classes, audio seminars and much more!  Choose as many gifts as you like. The links are at www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook.

In celebration and support of this important event, I am providing a 20-minute Free Coaching Session — $60 value
The Smart Divorce one-on-one coaching guides people to have a positive outcome from their divorce – for a happier, healthier future. 

 Check out the the ICCD website for more great offers and free downloads awaiting you at the special ICCD Month at www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook. Just enter your email address, click the confirmation email link, and you’ll be sent directly to the FREE GIFTS and FREE EVENTS pages. Visit often, all through January.


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Should So Many Couples Choose Divorce?

From the Huffington Post

Deborah Moskovitch

Divorce Coach, Author, Speaker, Guide, Radio Host

Should So Many Couples Choose Divorce?

Posted: 01/15/2013 12:17 pm

*This article first appeared on more.ca

Have you ever stopped to ponder why the divorce rate has risen so dramatically over the past 50 years? When my parents married in the 1950s the divorce rate was minimal. According to Statistics Canada, in 1951 there were only 5,270 divorces in all of Canada. The number rose dramatically to a staggering 70,226 divorces in 2008 — a whopping 1,232 per cent increase in total divorces over 50 years.

This compares with an increase in the total population of only 139 per cent. Divorce was a rare event previous to the first world war with a rate of less than one per 1,000 of the yearly number of marriages, says Stats Can. And I suspect the statistics are not too dissimilar in the U.S., although the hard numbers are usually ten times that of what occurs in Canada. For example, the number of divorces in the U.S. in 2008 was reported at 840,000, by CDC/NCHS National Vital Statistics System.

There has been significant progress in divorce reform, making it easier and fairer to obtain. Researchers would most likely agree that not only has divorce become more socially acceptable, but divorce laws have also changed to provide a more equitable resolution for many since the late 1960s. The amendment to the Divorce Act to permit the reason for divorce as no-fault (in other words, no-blame divorce) has radically altered the factors influencing the decision to divorce.

In other words, divorce has become less of a stigma — you don’t have to prove fault, and there is more fairness in addressing financial concerns for the disadvantaged spouse. In addition, there has been extensive research on the impact of divorce upon the family, children, social outcomes and so much more.

This learning has enabled the development of more effective resources to help the divorcing individual. No longer does one feel forced to stay in a marriage when there is a serious breach of trust, or any kind abuse. These are very positive outcomes of divorce reform.

The grass isn’t always greener, so why the high divorce rate?

But, knowing what we do — that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, that divorce can be hard on children, lifestyle is often diminished, and the divorce rate rises with each subsequent marriage — why is the divorce rate still so high? Has the traditional wedding vow promising to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health until death do us part lost its meaning? Or, have expectations about marriage and what we want out of a partner changed over the years, resulting in this dramatic rise in divorce.

Choosing to divorce is certainly not an easy decision. For most, the decision to divorce is a result of a great deal of soul searching and questioning. While the legal system for divorce is far from perfect, it is significantly better than it was in the 1950s. But, upon closer examination, it appears that changing attitudes towards relationships and marriage have impacted the divorce rate over the last 50 years. I spoke with one of the foremost sociologists and researchers in North America, Dr. Paul Amato, who has conducted extensive research on marital quality and stability.

To read the whole article and view the HuffPost slide show click here


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The Meaning of Alternative Dispute Resolution: And how it impacts your divorce

What is Alternative Dispute Resolution?

By 

Shared cusstody on The Smart DivorcePeople who need family lawyers are different from people who need other types of lawyers. If you are going through a separation or divorce, or if you need help with child custody or access, child or spousal support, or a children’s aid society issue, your case is about your life.

John Schuman with Deborah

John Schuman with Deborah

The lawyer you choose, and how the separation agreement is settled will also determine how amicable or adversarial the divorce process is, once again impacting your life.  In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, family law lawyer, John Schuman helps us understand the differences between all of the Alternative Dispute Resolutions to consider when coming to a separation agreement.  We discuss the importance of staying out of court, but also when it might the only option.   John has litigated before every level of court in Ontario, so readily understands the outcomes – not only from a decision perspective, but the impact on emotions as well.

For more on John Schuman, visit: http://www.devrylaw.ca/ and read Nobody Asks Where I Want to Live at:http://www.devrylaw.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ConsenttoTreatmentandParenting.pdf.

Don’t forget, Like us on our Facebook pages, The Smart Divorce and Divorce Source Radio.  Join the community!

To hear this podcast click here


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What You Need to Know About Real Estate During Divorce

Many people transitioning through a divorce want to distance themselves from the other party as quickly as possible and this can result in poor, and ultimately  expensive, mistakes. Prematurely paying off  joint credit cards, selling personal property, and buying or selling real estate are some examples that require extreme caution prior to the final settlement.

Buying a new home is a common first step to cleanse a person of the divorce experience. They want to leave the marital home and strike out on their own, make a fresh start and solidify their independence. What better way to express their new situation than to create an oasis in the form of a new home.

Divorce Real Estate Specialist, Joan Rogliano joins us to discuss the up and downside of real estate during divorce.  Divorce Consultant, Deborah Moskovitch joins the show as well adding her expert opinion.  If you are going through the process of divorce and own real estate, this is a “must hear” show.

For more on Joan Rogliano, visit: www.RoglianoRealEstateGroup.com and www.wildflowerwomensfoundation.org.

To listen and download this interview click here


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Change Your Brain, Transform Relationships

What if you could change the negative thoughts and behaviors that have been detrimental to healthy relationships in the past? Have you ever had feelings of being blamed, unappreciated, rejected or even un-loved in a past or current relationship? Imagine what would happen if you were able to “rewire” your brain and eliminate your negative feelings and replace them with positive feelings that make you feel  accepted, appreciated valued, loved and successful.

David Folk

David Folk

On this episode of The Smart Divorce, recorded at The Family Support Expo in Toronto, co-founder of NEXT Integrative Mind Sciences, David Folk joins us to discuss the potential to changing our brain and transform relationships. (Neuroplasticity)

David’s NEXT program guides students through a series of exercises that teach you to utilize your brain’s own natural plasticity by creating new and lasting patterns of behavior.  Armed with new abilities for emotional behavioral regulation, graduates of the couples and families program consistently report radical improvements to their relationships compared to when they began the program.

Learn how developments in neuroscience can benefit your life in this exciting program.  For more information on David Folk and the NEXT program, visit: www.The NextProgram.com.

To listen click here


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New Year Wishes

To my clients, colleagues, fans, and followers…..

New year comes to give us a fresh hope,
For a better future and success
New Year gives us dream for that
We will face challenges with confidence
On this new year may your dreams and hopes
Succeed with blessings 
Happy New Year and Seasons greetings

May 2013 be filled with happiness, good health, and peace.

All the very best,

Deborah


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Considering divorce? Good reasons to wait for January

By Geoff Williams

Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:43am EST

(Reuters) – Going through a divorce during the holidays can be emotionally wrenching, which is why many people don’t do it – they put it off until January.

“People don’t want to upset the apple cart over the holidays, and they want a peaceful Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year’s. And then, because they don’t want to spend another damned year with that spouse of theirs, as soon as the holidays are over they pull the plug and file,” says Alton Abramowitz, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

While there are no hard numbers on how many divorces are filed in January, Abramowitz says it’s undoubtedly a popular time to act, rivaled only by September, when marriages break up after the summer holidays. Yet waiting for the holidays to pass doesn’t all come down to simply wanting a harmonious holiday season. There are sound financial reasons to wait until January.

1. Waiting for the bonus

A husband or wife who waits until January is likely to be entitled to any year-end windfall that might come from a spouse’s job.

“In New York, at least, once you file for divorce and you set the cut-off date, anything you obtain afterward is separate property,” says Steven Goldfeder, a matrimonial attorney in New York City who acknowledges that year-end bonuses are often fought over, even if a spouse declares he or she wants a divorce in January. “Someone could claim the bonus isn’t really for that particular year, but a payment to entice someone to stay at the firm for the future.”

2. Cool your emotions

The holidays are a time when emotions run high. “If your spouse always has it in her mind that Christmas was ruined, she or he may not be so eager to settle with you,” says Goldfeder. “Your divorce might drag out for months or years longer than it would have.”

Once, shortly before Christmas, Goldfeder received a call from a client who said a co-worker had had a baby they both believed was his. The client, married and the father of three, planned to tell his wife and assumed she would leave him. Goldfeder talked him into first getting a paternity test. The client’s family had a nice Christmas, and the day after, the client learned he wasn’t the father.

Not exactly a warm holiday tale, but by cooling your emotions, you may save your family a lot of stress.

3. Avoid disastrous shopping

December is the shopping season, and that can spell disaster if an angry spouse is set loose with a credit card. “The spouse served with divorce papers may feel that they deserve some kind of emotional gift because of this horrible thing their spouse did to them,” says Kevin Worthley, a certified divorce financial analyst and certified financial planner in Warwick, Rhode Island.

An angry spouse may also be more inclined to want to drain the bank accounts and run up the credit cards. “That’s a danger any time, but past the holidays, when everything’s been bought, there’s likely less inclination to buy a big-ticket item out of revenge,” says Worthley.

4. Think about April

At year-end, taxes come to mind. “Obviously, the better records you have, the better position you’re going to be in,” says Andrew Katzenstein, a Los Angeles lawyer, referring to paperwork that you might want to start collecting now.

Katzenstein, who specializes in assisting high-net-worth individuals, businesses and charities, says that in the past there haven’t been many tax advantages to filing for a divorce in January rather than December. Filling for divorce is just a beginning step, after all. Many couples end up filing their taxes jointly until the divorce is completed.

But tax brackets may go up in 2013, depending on whether the U.S. budget dispute is resolved. So going forward, the calculus may be different. “The person who pays alimony will get more bang for their deduction buck, and the person receiving the payments will pay more taxes,” he says.

5. More time to plan

If you’ve made up your mind that a divorce is going to be one of your New Year’s resolutions, there are things you can do now. Whatever side you end up on — paying alimony or receiving it — you need to start preparing.

“You should start collecting all of your end-of-the-year statements,” says Worthley. “You really need to know everything — your household budget, your assets, what’s in your checking account, how much you’re paying for the mortgage, all of your debts and your credit card balances. It’s important to get all of that.”

Your financial records will be needed to determine how much spousal support will be paid out, and how the finances will be divided. “The more information you get, the less complicated it’ll be when you’re negotiating and working things out with a financial mediator, attorney or judge,” says Deborah Moskovitch, a divorce coach in Toronto who counts January as her busiest month for new clients.

To read the whole article click here